Tag Archives: the Xpert

The Xpert – production vlog, celebrial archives and lyrics of a true nerd

The Xpert has read everything that’s ever been written. He knows any author and can quote passages from any book at any time. if a lady wants to spend time with him (which apparently happens quite frequently) she has to write him letters devoteldly asking him for information and one day she might be accepted into the realm of the Xperts celebrial archives.

here’s how I’m going to record the Xpert:

here’s what the Xpert told me:

give me a book and I read it
as long as it’s heavy as lead
give me books long forgotton and rare
I read them all as long as they’re not popular
I read them all, and I understand them
I can quote passages from them at any given time
a 17 I looked like 47
but the more I read the more I stay the same
give me a name, be assured I know it
cause I’m the Xpert in any given field

I look like a cupboard that’s never been opened
I could graduate from any school at any given time
if I say “I don’t know” you know it’s a lie
I just say it so you can say something as well
my world is only books and listeners.

I honor your silence with my speach
I never tell the same tale twice
and everything I say is utterly important
I just regret I have to sleep like any regular guy

and if your only desire is to detect a lie in my speach
be aware, baby, I’m the Xpert
I’m the Xpert in any given field

Although I speak of many different things
for years I’ve stayed the same
only women come and go
well, that has always been insane
I’ll never visit your town
unless I’ve read everything about it
and then your town will want to be
exactly what I know about it

and if your only desire is to detect a lie in my speach
be aware, baby, I’m the Xpert
I’m the Xpert in any given field

If you want to be with me you have to write me letters
devotedly asking me for information
and if you write them letters well and if you write them long enough
I might accept to like you some day
and then I will agree to be surrounded
by your questions forever and a day

and if your only desire is to detect a lie in my speach
be aware, baby, I’m the Xpert
I’m the Xpert in any given field

and if you’ve come this far, thank you! here’s a little treat for you of another version of the song.


Music of Ghouls – The Story

picture by icultist on a CC license

in ancient times the dead were carried over the river styx by the ferryman charon, their last journey from our world into the underworld, also known as “hades”. the ferryman required payment for his service and the dead were given one or two coins that were either put on their eyes or under their tongue.

but there were also those who couldn’t pay the ferryman. he would still carry them over the river but they were denied entry into the underworld. instead, they have to live on the dark shores of the river for eternity. these ghouls are restless and to relieve themselves of their misery a bit they use the ferryman to carry back their stories over the river into our world.

Music of Ghouls is a collection of some of their stories. I’m the ferryman telling these stories in the ghouls voices, meaning I change character from song to song to match the character of the ghouls presented.

Meet some of the Ghouls:

The Xpert
A man who has read any book that’s ever been written. he knows all these books by heart and can quote from them at any time. if women want to be with him (and they do!) they have to write him letters asking for information. if these letters are long enough, he might accept to be surrounded by questions of the chosen one for ever.

The Horse Dark Lady
A woman, who can’t stand when people talk to her. their words are like stones thrown into her face. so she left society and decided to live with horses, because they are the only living creature that can calm her down. now she pulls a gun on anyopne who tries to speak to her.

Vogel der Nacht (Bird of the Night)
A Lady who is also known as the underaged widow. she gave herself literally to anyone who wanted her because she thought this way someday someone might just see the heavenly light shining in her. (this song is in german)

I’ve got money
is about a young kid who’s only dream is to live the life of a millionaire. but he doesn’t want to work for it so he just clings to those who seem to have money until they either run out of cash or prove not to provide the desired lifestyle. a real parasite, sucking people dry.

Sally Bones
is a lady who, in a quest for happiness, shovels through the dirt and garbage of this world looking for lost dreams and desires she could turn into her own.

these are just a couple of examples of the ghouls whose stories I will record on the album.

I recorded some parts of the album in my own workshop using only the upright bass (how I do this you can learn supporting one of the fueling bundles). on august 18 and 19 I’ll record all the live instruments in new york, and then back in munich all the additional voices. beginning of september I will edit the album before mixing and mastering it.

the whole process of making the album is going to be recorded on either video, photography, audio, and live streams. the collected material will make up all the goodies you can fuel here at rockethub.

you’ve read this far, now go ahead and fuel this project so the Ghouls can be heard.